You might have not heard yet but the Prime Minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, got attacked a couple of days ago.
He got hit by a plaster “Duomo di Milano” replica right on that small spot between mouth and the tip of the nose: a nasty spot indeed...and a bloody one too, from what appears from the pictures taken after the fact.
For the record Berlusconi was attending a public event the night he got “ambushed” and you also might not know that more or less last week he came down pretty hard on Italy's President Napolitano and all the justice apparatus (better yet, the part of it investigating him for “organized crime-related issues”).
Now the tension in here is pretty palpable: Facebook groups claiming the head of the attacker, others trying to name roads after him, some just linking the video of the agression (oh yeah...we got it all on tape...HD baby!) with the only comment ROFLMAO.
What I am trying to say here is that being this a political matter first of all, all it took was a small(-ish) piece of clay that smashed Berlusconi's face in to turn the political switch back on among the “shallow” cyber comunity in Italy...who would've guessed that!?
I am also not trying to say I am above the laughter: infact what I wrote so far was just an introduction to my first reaction, which I wanted to share with you.
Berlusconi's face when he gets hit is pretty fucking funny!!
Like the face Josef Blatter made when he fell into that hole during that Fifa ceremony (footage that was on for weeks on one of Mediaset shows...everybody in Italy have seen it atleast once)...except Blatter did all that thanks to his wit...silly silly man...
Anyway, my point is: funny? Yes. Hilarious? Not really.
Hilarious would have been the same guy running up to the “Invincible” (I'm quoting Berlusconi himself here...) Prime Minister and kicking him the nuts, hard, like that guy in the jumpsuite and orange wig from the tely!
That would have been a freaking hilarious masterpiece of italian politics!
Now, instead, we have something mildly grotesque: the whole cabinet and the PdL asking for retribution, an opposition condemning the act but also implying (“openly” implying let's say, in some cases...like Di Pietro...) that Berlusconi has been fishing for an “ass whooping” the last two mandates (and that's being generous...) and the media world gone wild like wolves on a dead dear...
With a kick in the nuts everybody would have been just too busy laughing their asses out to care about the political side of the accident, which was, as it happens, the random act of violence of a quite disturbed fellow.
Of course there are also some conspiracy theories, all very interesting and all very entertaining but the bottom line is: we have “our guy”, the perpetrator, so we are pretty much satisfied in the “justice department”... all we want now is more gossip!!
We want to know everything, real or not real, about this Tartaglia guy.
We want to know when a next attack is expected for (i'm not shitting you, people-mostly dumb people, to be fair- are actually waiting for an escalation...ye, I know...imagine what would have been the escalation of a kick in the nuts!!!) and what happened and what was said in the hospital during the two days Berlusconi was “held” there.
Yes! Held! The Prime Minister was actually full of rage and spunk and clearly wanted to kick Tartaglia's ass: it would have taken just the pinky of one of his bodyguards to brake that coward in two, I bet!
The bastard that from a distance of at least one or even two meters (two meters! Wow! Almost like impossible to wrap your mind around that concept...), like a sniper hiding in the shadows and waiting for the right moment, cowardly attacked one of the most heavily guarded persons in Europe and managed not to get butt-raped by a big dude in a suit with a 234 size of shirt collar!
You gotta love Italy right now, I tell ya!
To conclude let me indulge a bit on this thought I had: let's say that I was writing a pure fiction novel with the same elements as the abovementioned; what would be a better ending than the scared and scarred leader fakely (...that's right! I can make up words!...my blog, my words!) retiring from politics “for it would not be safe for him and his family anymore” just to wait for his followers to chant in the streets for his glorious return as Prime Minister, or better yet a “constitutionally improved” return as full USA-style President?
That would be a great book, right?
Pure fiction of course, being the Prime Minister even in the least interested on becoming...ooops!
Entertaining and scary! The kind of book that makes the big bucks nowadays...
Meanwhile we'll just have to cope with fuck-heads saying “what would be illegal about giving the Tartaglia guy to us for justice instead of leaving him in the cares of the inefficient legal system?”
P.s. Read this fast because the goverment is seriously thinking about censorship on every webpage instigating to violence and related to the bleeding mouth incident (not a snuff movie)....kidding...not really...yes I am...ask Maroni if i'm kiddin'...
